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I'm Leaving YOU!

8/22/2014

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A close friend just landed the job of a lifetime. I'm not exaggerating when I say that she wanted to work for this company since she was a child! (The company and person will remain unnamed.) She had been drawn to their work and their products and their culture for as long as I can remember, and had applied several times over the years. But it is a prestigious company, and very difficult to get in that door. Then it happened! The stars aligned and there was a full-time temporary job opening. She knew that if she could land this temporary assignment, that they would get to know her and see the quality of her work. And, she did! But it didn't turn out as planned. 

My friend did show her stuff! She did top quality work. She was (and always is) a delight to be around. She worked well with others, put in long hours, completed all her work on time and made personal sacrifices to ensure project success. And when the temporary position was coming to an end, they did in fact offer her a job. And she said, "No thanks!"
What Happened!?People will leave a boss, much more often then they will leave a job.

She loved the work. She has a special skill set that sets her apart from others and there were opportunities to use that skill set in her job. But, the person she worked for was, let's say, less than desirable as a boss. He displayed his anger and frustration openly and frequently. He was discouraging. He was a poor manager of outcomes and performance. He ignored the successes and focused on the failures. He was generally unpleasant. The team sighed with relief when he finally left for the day and they could get their work done!

This is not a good thing!

The boss often (but not always) has a disproportionate influence on the culture of a workplace. The boss sets the tone and expectations. The boss has the opportunity to create a positive workplace that is filled with appreciation and support, or, on the other end of the spectrum, one that is based on neglect, or even dysfunction. The result of this particular situation is that a good company lost a great resource. Multiply that dynamic times the number of supervisors who don't understand their influence, and you'll see very quickly how a good company can become mediocre and sluggish at best. 

If you supervise, manage, or lead others, it is in your best interest to pay close attention to the climate you create. Are you noticing the strengths of your team members? Or complaining about their deficiencies? Are you supporting the development and growth of each individual? Or do you figure that it's their job to know what to do and how to do it? 

Be proactive! Understand your influence, and use it well! Pay attention!
Remember that you are in a position that can attract talent and make life better for others, OR, that you will be left... seeking new employees constantly... probably blaming it on those who come through your door. 

Let us help! 
Our leadership courses are designed to empower you to be a great boss! Don't get left behind! 


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Beware the Write-Off

8/17/2014

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I was recently working with a team that has a long history. These folks have worked together for a period of time, and in that time they have come to know each other and create patterns of interaction that hold them together in predictable ways. This is called, "Norming." Teams "settle in" to habits with one another. We learn how to respond to one another, effectively creating "rules of engagement," for our team, and then we follow those rules. Let me clarify. We MAKE the rules, and then we FOLLOW the rules. 

This is a perfectly reasonable thing to do from a behavioral perspective, but it must be monitored if a team is to continually thrive. For example, a team might "norm" by figuring out and then accepting that it is fine to disagree with Mary's ideas, but don't EVER disagree with Bill. He will blow a gasket if you disagree with him, and he is the boss, so just accept his ideas and move forward. As you can imagine, this is NOT GOOD for team engagement, and it dampens the creativity and potential of the team. 

Often, when I hold up a mirror to the team and try to show them their patterns, they will say, "that's just the way Bill is. I have tried to address it, but it won't change. Bill is just Bill."

THAT is what I call a "Write-Off." 

How to Handle a Write-OffWhen we "write-off" another person as I have described above, it's like putting them- and ourselves- in a box. We have a nice, neat prediction that gives us permission to continue accommodating as we have done in the past, and allows us to keep the discomfort of change at bay. We feel that we already know how someone will act (and we may have lots of experience that supports this feeling), so we can rest on the laurels of our own predictable behaviors. Again, this makes perfect sense! We are creatures of habit, and with the growing complexity of our daily lives, we seek continuity and predictability to make things easier. 

But it works against our own growth. 

If I am to grow as a team member, as a leader, and as an individual, I have to see my own blind spots. I have to re-approach the situation and try to find a different way to talk with Bill. After all, people evolve and relationships are dynamic and changing. 

Now that you've read this article, I challenge you to look for a person that you have "written off" as utterly predictable in their behavior. Remember that this effectively puts them in a box.  Now look deeper. Find your own blind spot that is created in the wake. Try to identify your own part of the pattern. Your belief that they are predictable usually points to your own predictability. Break free. Try something new. Re-approach with a different attitude or new words.Get curious about the other person. Dig deeper. 

This fresh perspective may just be the thing that transforms your relationship with the other person and helps you forge a new habit based on awareness and capability.

And by all means, CONTACT Claire Laughlin at Leadership4Design.


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